Having had time to ponder... Change can be good.
Don't think I'll EVER get used to the whole "selfie" thing???
Wow! Where to begin?
Let's start with what is... and what can be - and a little about what was and has been since. I'll write more about that when the time is right in the not too distant future.
Grief is tricky.
A week ago was another one of those overwhelming waves. This time however I ASKED FOR HELP.
Trying to understand all the end-of-life legals and financials without any will on behalf of Ben's own family - Can I just say here, again, EVERYONE needs a will - was totally overwhelming me. So finally I asked a friend for advice. That Saturday my friend listened to my story and made quality suggestions, gifting me the startings of clarity, understanding and consequently, hope. Such a shift! Big. Huge! The next morning I woke for the first time since my first-born died, feeling like "I can do this"... which was a welcome change from waking daily feeling overwhelmed and that everything was just too hard to deal with.
I also asked another beautiful soul for her service of counselling. Never in my life have I envisioned myself needing counselling because I've become so used to being the one sitting in the listening / guiding seat, holding space for others? The time came for me however where I clearly recognised I needed help. So I am very grateful to have such beautiful people in my life who are able to hold space for me also... and equally as grateful for all the other gorgeous souls who've been keeping my family and I in your hearts and minds.
I am looking forward to that counselling session.
Those two great changes subsequently allowed the following to flow...
This last week has included my first day back in the office making appointments, rather than cancelling them. Then my first day volunteering at our local foodbank and then my first day back in clinic doing what I love... and thank goodness it all came flowing back to me!
My diary is filling again quickly and I am so grateful for that AND all the love, understanding, kindness and patience from everyone who's been waiting for the past few months... more than you might ever know. Yes, I am repeating myself. The depth of kindness and caring is indescribable... and anyone who knows me understands it takes a lot to render me speechless!
I've been doing a lot of thinking in my gap time.
Trying to envision our new normal has been challenging and yet it is now unfurling quite naturally. Thank goodness. After asking myself repeatedly - about just about everything - "So how's that been working for me / us?", I have decided upon some things that need changing...
I am now going back to longer timeslots for consultations. Instead of the pattern of recent years where I was trying to do everything for everyone and in the process, not honouring fully my own energy or time, hopefully this will work better for all and be much more sustainable. So, while still trying to wrap my head around the finer details - which may see further changes into the future - for now, I am offering consults with iridology - sooo grateful that this has come back to me - and of course still nutritional and lifestyle analysis and subsequent improvement strategies and herbs, etc. These consults will be booked for an hour of face-to-face and your investment will be $125 for initial consults and $120 for return check-ups. No more rushing! I think it'll still be okay to do 30 minute consults for most babies and young children and where that is the case, the fee will remain at $60 per half hour. Hopefully that still keeps my services affordable for families because that's important to me.
I will continue to open and close my books for new intakes as needed, to keep the waiting list down. In this moment I AM taking first time appointments but this is likely to change again temporarily, in the not too distant future.
So, without any further ado...
I thank you, yet again.
PS: Just a gentle reminder...
My welcome blackboard at the door of the office asks visitors to please not give sympathies / condolences when you are here. I am so grateful for your love. I know though that it brings me undone every time some gorgeous soul reaches out to me at that level and I need to be able to focus on YOU to truly honour you as I hold space for you here. There is a little book on the front counter - next to the visitors book - where you are very welcome to write your beautiful thoughts, should you feel drawn to. It is a privilege for me to even need to say those words, for without caring folks like you in my world, such words wouldn't even be relevant. It is equally a privilege to read your thoughts at the end of the day. So far this is working well for me.
Our world is different now. It is as it is. We have the beginnings of our new normal... and that is okay... and we are okay... Thank you so much. xoxo